Ugly Quotes

Economists … note that a struggling economy is sometimes transformed by unexpected developments. The last time analysts wrung their hands about prolonged American unemployment, for instance, in the early 1980s, the Internet hardly existed. Few at the time would have guessed that a degree in graphic design was rapidly becoming a smart bet, while studying telephone repair a dead end.

Twitter provocateur

This conversation lasted until about 2 a.m., at which point he gave up trying to “talk sense” into me, and started angrily rolling dice. Have you ever heard angrily rolled dice? It is a sound you will never forget, it’s so small and sad.

If there’s one word that would accurately describe my testicles, it would be “Fortuitous

I don’t know to this day how he did it, but while trying to create a small secondary partitioned hard drive (to install the shitty old game on) he’d managed to take up 90% of the hard drive with a lump of unuseable clusters wich I assume was some kind of partition experiment gone horribly wrong, kind of like frankenstein’s monster if frankenstein was a fat geek fucking with my computer.

Watching someone witnessing an awful thing is a powerful tool. One that not enough horror directors really use.

I saw ‘cout’ being shifted “Hello world” times to the left and stopped right there.

We can’t tech our way out of the cyberthreat

Homer is rapid in his movement, Homer is plain in his words and style, Homer is simple in his ideas, Homer is noble in his manner.

Snoop’s murder didn’t make perfect dramatic sense to me, but this may be because I was hoping to see her character spun off to a new, network-television sitcom. Something based on the Gilmore Girls model but with more Glocks.

In the unlikely event I am ever asked to demonstrate a non sequitur, I will point to the last paragraph of this article.

I hope you suffer; it’s good for you.

See, that’s what makes the game the game. You live and die with those around you… People want to know where you stand. They could get nervous if they see you trying to get that kind of insurance policy.

Well, you know, one of the first rules of war is that its a very good teacher. The survivors learn. I remember when I was in Iraq in 2006, a Marine captain pulled me aside and said, you know why its tough here now - we were out in the Anbar Province - he says because the junior varsity’s all dead. We’re fighting the varsity. These are the guys who survived. They know a few things.

The nice thing about being the sole host is that I don’t have to appear here in italics.  You can’t rent a good italics  like you can a tux—-and, by the way, what do you think of mine?  I like the line here, but I’m not crazy about the velvet lapels.  At any rate, appearing in italics is tiring.  You have to spend the whole night leaning  thirty degrees to stage right like a novice mime practicing the walking in a windstorm routine.  You probably didn’t notice, but the last couple of times I leaned too far and lost my balance and fell over on top of a busboy.  Same busboy both times.  Both times he was carrying a full tray of china.  Amazing how fate likes a joke like that.  That ironic part is that both times I was aiming at the cigarette girl.