Quote 11 Apr
The lesson of Clive Doyle’s memoir—and the battle of [Waco]—is that Americans aren’t very good at respecting the freedom of others to be so obnoxiously different.
— Malcolm Gladwell, "Sacred and Profane"
Quote 7 Apr
It’s absolutely fine to take bad pictures. We all did when we were starting out; and realistically as you get better there will be a long, long period where your ability to take good pictures lags behind your understanding of what makes a good picture. Don’t get disheartened.
— occluded, SA forums
Quote 2 Apr 1 note
Dante simply called it his Comedy; in what was perhaps the founding instance of publishing hype, divine was added by a Venetian printer in 1555.
Quote 7 Mar 2 notes
Trust your instincts, Elaine Belloc. If mercy’s your aim, be relentless in your mercy. Be absolute. Be yourself, until you bleed.
— Mike Carey, Lucifer
Quote 15 Jan
SCSI is *not* magic. There are *fundamental* *technical* *reasons* why you have to sacrifice a young goat to your SCSI chain every now and then.
— John F. Woods (jfw@funhouse.com)
Quote 27 Oct
Malt does more than Milton can to justify God’s ways to man.
— The Waiter
Quote 5 Oct
people often do their best work when they are slightly out of their comfort zone.
— Prof. Denis Feeney, on Robert Fagles’ translations of The Aeneid
Quote 12 Sep

From that moment, Valerie Lone began to be consumed by her shadow. And nothing could prevent it. Not even the wonderful, wonderful universe that had chosen to care about her.

A universe ruled by a mad God, who was himself being consumed by his shadow.

— Harlan Ellison, The Resurgence of Miss Ankle-Strap Wedgie
Quote 27 Aug
Jews don’t daydream. ‘Cause folks are after them and they gotta stay sharp. They haven’t let their minds wander since Egypt.
— John Mulaney, New In Town
Quote 12 Aug
If you can’t get laughs with a man digging up a grave you’re not a comedy writer.
Quote 2 Aug
The Familymoon again pairs [Adam Sandler] with The Wedding Singer and 50 First Dates co-star Drew Barrymore in order to further explore one of Sandler’s favorite cinematic themes: diminishing returns.
Quote 31 Jul

4. Learn how to move from car to car on the train.

There are two sets of doors between cars—one to get out of your car, and one to get into the next car. To open the first door, you have to pull, hard. To open the second door, you have to push, hard. If you can’t get the door open, look through the window and see if there are people sitting in the next car. If you don’t see anyone, the door’s probably locked. If you do see people, you’re physically weak and should probably rethink your approach to life.

Quote 20 Jun
We were overcome with nervousness and anxiety. The Americans were at the zenith of their power. We lost to them in forty six. We lost to them in fifty. Now we were ready to win. But we were not one hundred percent certain. Our rivals were too strong…. The war had healthily mowed our ranks. Many guys, capable of defending the sporting honor of the motherland, sleep in the damp earth.
— Arkady Vorobeyev, “The Barbell on the Olympic Platform”, quoted in
Andrew Charniga, Jr.’s There Is No System, Part II
Quote 14 Jun
The most instinctive designers (true artists) will know what works and what to discard. But the novice is hampered by the weight of history and the dead grey hand of the instruction manual.
— Simon Garfield, Just My Type: A Book About Fonts
Quote 31 May 2 notes

Today, I was using the bathroom in one of my academic buildings. I stood up and pulled up my pants, and out of my back pocket fell my keys and ID card. Hearing the splash as they hit the water, I gasped in horror and made a motion to reach in. The motion triggered the automatic flush. FML

Today, I was on the bus when I saw this really hot guy get on. He smiled at me, and I wanted to look cool, so I put in my earbuds and started humming. He laughed and got off the bus. I later realized why he was laughing. I actually had my hoodie strings in my ears. FML

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis “Jesus”. For the last two hours he’s been continuously asking if I “want to be touched by Jesus” or will I “let Jesus in to spread his warmth.” FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting busy when all of the sudden he paused and looked me dead in the eye. He said “stop,” then farted, followed by, “hammer time.” And resumed the pounding. FML

— My four favorite FMLs.

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